Feels Weird

Feels weird I write this post! I'm a manager now :D Cant believe in couple of day's I'll have 30 guys reporting to me. 8 years back, I still remember my first day at office. A BPO organization based out of my hometown, Kolkata. Twinkle eyed, all I could was to stare at the glossy interiors. And after the day finished, I came back & met my childhood sweetheart. She was waiting with a proud smile near the bus stand. And I couldn't have been more happier. Everything seemed so perfect. Just out of college, that 16 grands salary a month seemed like a million dollars! Sadly didn't realize then that tough times awaited with a smile. Since I was a good communicator ( thanks to my english medium background), I was selected to be a part of the helpdesk. There were others who couldn't even say a proper intro about themselves & got selected for non-voice teams. I was flummoxed by this development! I mean how could a good performer in the technical interviews be selected for a helpdesk! :O Anyways, I moved on. But thankfully even though I was an agent at the helpdesk, I learned a lot from my peers & seniors. It was then that I learnt what corporate life meant. I picked up professional etiquette. I made fabulous friends. And in those 3 years, I learnt a lot. And then came my second adventure at Hyderabad. I had never been out of home, up & until that time. As the 3rd law of Newton says - Every action has an equal & opposite reaction. It's just that I never guessed it coming. In a couple of weeks, I had life changing experiences. Had a mini titanic scene at my flat, as the kitchen tap broke & within seconds everything I could see was flowing in water! I broke up with my five year old girlfriend. In a few weeks, I learnt she was going around with her office mate. Had a very difficult time to come upto terms with that & almost contemplated giving up. But as the saying goes "In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on - Robert Frost". It was then, when I saw what proper sheer luck does to a person. I had just come over to meet my parents & also stay away from Hyderabad which admittedly became a tough city to live in. I saw a newspaper AD that Accenture were recruiting in Kolkata for their new office in the city. Although I never had a technical acumen to go for an interview ( because of my BPO background). I decided to give it a shot. I still don't know what the recruiter saw in me to give me the job as a middleware admin! :D It was plain & sheer luck that once again I got selected for a technical middleware project. And although I had to compromise on my starting salary, I still have to thank my ex-girlfriend. She had moved in2 Bangalore & my offer was from Accenture Blore too. Naturally, even though technically she was my ex. Neither she or I could give up on both of us. Because we were genuinely "good friends" apart from being lovers. We practically spent our teens & early tees together. Anyway, I'd go on to the topic once again. So, I was at this french international complex technical project on middleware working on the latest technologies & using Unix, Ubuntu , Linux as their operating systems! I know how I passed out my engineering, so all these seemed hibru. But I got two tamilan people to thank for. BG & Muthu, you put your trust in a rank outsider. Someone who had no knowledge. Somebody who didn't know what middleware meant. It took me a while, but I slowly picked up stuff. Got myself enrolled for a in-house training program at a leading training house in Bangalore & in office I was always attending e-learning or instructor led courses. As funny as it sounds, I'd still have to thank my ex for it :D :D . Within 4 months since I landed in the garden city, she left. Apparently the guy she was dating, relocated to NCR and she left to join him there. I was heartbroken, but I put all my vent towards my job, my studies & training. There were days, when I would stay at office for 15/16 hours a day. Deep in my mind, I knew this was my last opportunity. If I let it go, I'll never get a second chance. In five years, I get a chance to be what I always dreamed as a child. I got three wonderful people to thank for. Bharathi Ganesh N & Muthamilan Sargunaanandan Rathish Embar you put your trust in a rank outsider. Someone who had no basic knowledge. Somebody who didn't know what middleware meant. Someone who couldn't even logon to servers too! tongue emoticon P.S - I take interviews these days & we normally don't entertain freshers for highly critical middleware roles! Today as my first day as a Manager, I can't thank you enough for believing in me. Giving me an opportunity to be a part. I hope someday somewhere we can catch up smile emoticon

Samik's Diary - Sharodiya Durgotsav

The deity of goddess Durga standing tall with those fascinating eyes, the scent of flowers, burning ghee & incense sticks, dhak-beats, people dressed in their best clothes, delightful dishes, pandal hopping with family and friends, hot khichuri bhog, brilliantly decorated lights – indeed these are some of the memories that keep coming back every year around this time - Saptami, Ashtami, Nabami, Dashami - Four days of the year, when Durga Ma pays us a visit. To me, Durga Puja is that ocaasion when we forget all pain & sorrow and are at our happiest best. In spite of the sad feeling during visarjan, we chant out loudly “ Bolo Durga Mai ki – Jay..Asche bochor aabar hobey !” We spend the rest of the year in hope & patiently await the advent of Pujas. To begin with, my affinity towards Durga Puja as a festival doubled up, when I realised during my early days that this was a time of the year when I got my annual quota of new clothes from my parents and close relatives, a custom which to this date is quite common amongst Bengali friends and families. Rewinding back to those days, Puja shopping was an event in itself as families like ours would save up all year to indulge on giving its members and the household in general, a yearly makeover. As October drew near, there was a sense of newness and merriment. One could sense an imminent sign of the Pujas being round the corner. Those days, with the absence of shopping malls in Kolkata, puja shopping was restricted to Gariahat, Ballygunge AC Market, Treasure Island or Vardaan Market. It was hilarious to be a mute spectator & watch those bargain fights between the customer and the shopkeepers where both parties were hell-bent on not surrendering even an inch which used to be an intense encounter. It was nothing less than a live bargaining tutorial & I credit my bargaining skills to those very days. Initial Puja Parikramas or pandal hopping started with my family. I had a great childhood with my siblings & cousins. We were a gang of seven. Even though there was a difference in age, the fun factor never deserted us. Nearly every year on Ashtami night, the Biswas clan would leave the Ballygunge residence on a hired taxi for the most awaited ride of the year. During Durga Pujas, the nights of Kolkata have an uniqueness of their own. Almost the whole city is out on the roads. The houses are decorated with electric lights & make the roads look beautifully illuminated. The plethora of people wouldn’t deter our spirits & we wouldn’t mind queuing up at Mohammed Ali Park, College Square, Maddox Square, MudiAli, Jodhpur Park, Babugan, to name a few. It also meant lots of eating stops in between. The ice golas, rolls, popcorn, chocolates would keep us interested all the way. My later days during my college years & initial corporate days was centered to a very special friend. We would be simply hopping from one pandal to the other, meet up friends & clicking pictures merrily. It was also that time of the year when she would easily cater to all my wishes & demands. I distinctly remember our first night pujo parikrama. We toured the entire city on my bike, watching pandals, clicking pictures, sipping tea & suddenly the world had come alive. It wasn’t until the very early hours of the next day morning, when we reached our respective homes. Although times have changed since then, it was an experience that still brings a smile on my face. The best part about the Puja nights at Kolkata lies in the undying spirit of the people. Even the folks who prefer to stay indoors, are mostly awake till the wee hours of the mornings…Some would have their respective family/friends coming over for a classical adda session, while others would lounge on their balconies or by their windows and spend the night just watching the masses parade past… all in all, indoor or outdoor, the city never sleeps… As I patiently await the next three weeks to pass, I’m overjoyed deep inside at the opportunity of spending this Pujas in Kolkata. This year I shall visit pandals, try out the tasty dishes, click pictures , write my experiences and celebrate Durga Ma’s arrival with joy and enthusiasm.

Asking you to stay

What if I asked you to stay The words are finally here Let's Rewind. And Rewind. And my heart stops when you're stalling. As if the phone rang, and you're calling. Now you're backing up. It's a long way out. I'm asking you to stay. The words are finally here. Would you rewind it all the time? See you're the only star in the film I never made. Do we make it to the sequel? A second chance for our survival. And make, miracles happen. We all need a hallmark ending. It's weighing on my mind. Would you rewind ????

Onno Kothao chol

Amar shohore shukiye jachey jol
Aastey asste ehhh lukiye jachey jol
Amar shohore shukiye jachey jol
Aastey asste ehhh lukiye jachey jol

Furiye asche snan korbar din
hmmmmm hmmmmm mmmmm
Onno kothao chol
Onno kothao chol!!


Kak fata hasi upohar ki rongin
Elo shesh mesh cellophane mora din
Kak fata hasi upohar ki rongin
Elo shesh mesh cellophane mora din
Chena ojuhat bholar chhol
Amar shohorey shukiye jache jol
heeeeeeee heeeeee

Onno Kothao chol
Onno kothao chol!!

Smoke of yesterday

I kept listening to what you never said
Just for nothing, without any reason I kept weaving dreams.
The silent eyes should remain dumb
The conversations were not like the previous ones
When I speak, my lips quiver
I am not able to say the secret of my heart out loud
No effect has done me in
I am in a journey, but there is no partner with me

The smoke of yesterday is troubling my eyes
Your situation is not like mine
Why were we settling our world again
The world which we left before


Seems like the memories have become aggressive again
The past keeps paining my heart
The fire has become ashes, yet the mark still continues to remain.

Memories

Memories... ahh...
I wanna run & escape from your prison,
But when I leave I feel like something is missing.
I'm not afraid, that's easy to tell.
This can't be heaven, It feels like I'm in hell.
You're like a drug that I can't stop taking.
I want more & I can't stop craving.
I still want you, it's easy to see,
But guess what, honey, you're not that good for me.
We get so complicated.
These fingers full of memories.
So rip my pictures from your wall.
Tear them down, burn them all. Light the fire, walk away.
There's nothing left to say
So, take the ashes from the floor,
Bury them to just make sure that nothing more is left of me,
Just bittersweet memories.

I see your eyes

I see your eyes
Charcoaled as it cry
Cacti tears
.
And your shadow hung
Like a stuck kite
On a beaten lamp post
.
Feeling unbroken you dunk
Life into the sewer
Of unwanted ness
.
And you let go–
Behemoth lions of pain
And cock-a-hoop imagining
.
What is this good life?
You’re trying to live for–
What, again?
.
I still see your tears
Charcoal in lento wash
Gently coalesce with mine.